Dear Poems for Patti readers,

Today I was diagnosed with Macular Degeneration.  I knew something was wrong because my vision became poor very rapidly.  I had an exam last year and within that year my vision changed drastically.  I will continue to write. I will continue to work.  I will face this as best I can with determination and faith, I will do so with Patti’s love in my heart.  I would not change anything in my life because each illness and kiss has brought me to this point.  For over a year I carried Patti’s image in my mind and heart as I served our country during Vietnam.  I absolutely adore Patti and I love to look at her.  That will fade with time as there is no cure.  Thus, I will carry her image forever dear in my heart.  With all my heart I thank our Lord Jesus Christ for blessing my life to be a part of her life.  For over a fifty one years I have loved her and each day I am as giddy as a teenager when I see her.  Excitement fills my heart each morning as I put my eyes upon her.  I feel the same each day as I did when I was seventeen.  Soon I will become excited by her essence and her touch, the image of vision may not be there however her image as a vision will be there, for that I am again grateful to our Lord Jesus Christ.

This poem is about my journey.

Thank you and may God Bless you,

The Dual Timelines of My Existence (Final Straw)

The might of the Texas rain is felt with every raindrop pelt,

An appropriate theme fitting me as pain and heartache is felt,

Simplicity defines my life that is best shown in a dual life timeline,

I have two lines of opposite appeared existence that are mine,

A shattered mess of pain is my health line that struggles to exist,

My timeline of love is strengthened by the only one I can’t resist,

A timeline so strong that the health line clings to it for support,

Sometimes waning health challenges love in an attempted abort,

A coup of such shall never take place as long as she is in my heart,

I’ve skirted the edges of the “Kingdom” as my health fell apart,

But for her my existence would be too unbearable for one man,

With her near to touch or if she is in my mind I do for her all I can,

My draft survival was because of my love and my heart’s need,

Praying to God for her and for me, my faith became my steed,

My shattered frame survived their brutality with but a breath left,

She held my wounded psyche not caring I was no longer deft,

A brief period existed when both timelines hung in precariousness,

No word from home be it from her or family left me a broken mess,

Yet somehow a flicker burned with faith to fan the flickering flame,

This faith proved true for within a year my angel took my last name,

The timeline of love grew stronger as it healed the year of lonely thread,

The embodiment of what I once was was now a memory inside my head,

I had no party or welcome home until I saw her and her smile said it all,

Pride of personal appearance returned to me as I again tried to stand tall,

My timeline of love for a year plus was more ash of burned fuse,

With combat and other missions to endure I was easy to confuse,

I refer to my state of heart yet when detained she got me through,

Clinging to love while at war and no word is a difficult thing to do,

A timeline of ash yet ash has some strength if undisturbed alone,

My health line had been strong until becoming ash before I came home,

A month in a rum bottle while surrounded by my father’s understanding,

Allowed my psyche to feel I could go on and I returned home standing,

Then I saw the smile of an angel that once again made my life worthwhile,

The timeline of my existence so microscopic is scope grew from a smile,

Within the year we were married and my timeline of love prospered,

I knew deep within that my health would forever need to be doctored,

On a trip to my parents at age twenty five I died on the bathroom floor,

The pain had become so intense that I parted in search of heaven’s door,

The bright light was there and relatives gone welcomed me to come in,

When I saw her sobbing with my limp body in her hold my heart broke again,

They say you don’t feel heartbreak and pain in the Garden of Paradise,

I felt the pain of her heart and somehow I felt tears rolling from her eyes,

Her precious eyes, so beautiful and laden with care for all she may see,

She is precious, a gift given us by God, or perhaps I’m chosen as it may be,

As the years quickly flew by I have been diagnosed with too much to count,

Yet the pain may make me pass out I pray to remain to endure, to be pain stout,

I am strong, in wartime I endured sodomy after each joint was brutally forced apart,

Dislocation is painful but daily kidney stones laced with liver stones stop my heart,

Please understand this is but a small sampling of the diseases I endure,

Two back breaks as well as atrophied thighs from infection they didn’t cure,

To walk is pain but to walk to her and beside her is a heavenly gift for me,

I am the man walking at her side, I am the man beside the Angel they see,

Diabetes insipidus leaves me in thirst while meds for nausea dry my mouth,

Kidney disease along with AVMs that bleed into my ureters push clots south,

Outward swelling of my abdomen has created pain so intense I pass out,

As well the AVMs are in my liver and have atrophied parts near and about,

The stroke we choose to ignore was no doubt an AVM but there is no cure,

Life is fragile yet with the desire to survive it is possible but you must be sure,

The timeline of my love is like a woven vine entwined in her and wrapped within,

The pain I endure is a droplet if payment for the one I adore let the pain begin,

A timeline parallels love and I would guess it is swollen and laden with pain,

Perhaps it is scarred and rugged in appearance but needs love to remain,

I’ve heart disease beyond the broken heart I endured from war and no letter,

St. Louis Encephalitis brought brain damage but by her I endured to get better,

I’ve endured the timeline of painful health in acceptance that a price be paid,

At seventeen I fell in love with a thirteen year old and knew my path was laid,

To be at her side is paradise and I take great delight in watching her smile,

I wake each morning to look at the beautiful angel that makes it worthwhile,

Endorphins make pain tolerable there is no doubt and from a look I am high,

It is so hard to express that she is my dreams, she is the angel in my eye,

As  pain became too much her beauty brought comfort indescribable,

After each of my fifty surgeries her smile made it all more bearable,

I’ve told so many and perhaps I’ve told too many that to see her is Divine,

I take so much pleasure and delight to point her out and say I’m her “mine”

To see her is my greatest pleasure, yes, beyond sex I admit to all today,

And this afternoon, I was told macular degeneration will take that away.

The end, by Pat