Time frame October to November of 1969.
Some verses are taken from a poem I wrote in 1969, “The Walk I Took.”
No one picked me up at the airport upon my discharge.  A fifty mile walk.

Paper Roses (The Walk I Took)

In the darkness of the night I imagined holding you tight,

Perhaps an angel or true an old man took me from the fight,

Free at last but with silent wonder if you were still in love,

I promise you beautiful angel you’re all I have dreamed of,

Since the draft notice came you have been on my mind,

A sudden fear is that I’d return in a box or worse be blind,

Your beauty is so overwhelming that breath seems gone,

My heart has yearned so for you, pray have you moved on?

Never set me free or my heart will be one of the forgots,

Each reflection and every prayer had you in my thoughts

Dance with me please in the darkness of night on the road,

If only you will, it will help unburden me of this heavy load,

Every sweetness in my heart is yours forevermore and a day,

True love is like a paper rose so beautiful to never wilt away,

I hope some day there is an announcement of King and Napier*,

So wonderful it would be to see our names in our local paper,

I have failures that captured the freedom of my battered mind,

For America I survived so much and did things of nightmare kind,

Upon a sea of dreams I found way across icebergs and much more,

Icebergs are but obstacles left floating from battles of days before,

Thank God for memories of your delicate little hand touching me,

I’m in a gutter I confess and it’s not of the normal type you see,

For the wire brush** damage is gone by rectal surgery and more,

Shock therapy with stick in mouth took some memories of before,

“I need you, walk with me”*** I remember kissing at your door,

“I need you,” James Brown sang to me but at your door as before,

Look at me, I beg, do I still have all my limbs and is my mind okay,

I have been told I’m a stalker is that how you feel now, each day?

I carried your photo near my heart and held it so tight at night,

‘The bombs bursting in air and rockets red glare’ is a bad fright,

Words that sound so wonderful until experienced first hand,

By draft board letter two years ago I was forced to make a stand,

Damaged limbs and beaten torso along with tortured mind,

Brought months in a hospital bed as psychiatrist had a find,

To carry a girl’s image faithfully without word for a year or more,

Brought words of disbelief from doctors asking me what for,

My faith in you sounded insane as they listened with disbelief,

“How could you do that?” they said, “your mind needs relief,”

They shocked my mind and called me a stalker of mental kind,

Telling me my love for you is unhealthy and the fantasy kind,

My heart broke as I cried in the doctor’s chair to think I’m insane,

Shock therapy for wrongs done to me left some of love’s flame,

During shock therapy somehow I spoke of you and your age,

They declared to leave this place I’m still stalker at this stage,

It seemed so odd they’d concentrate on love instead of war,

Let’s address my state from being sodomized and even more,

Or the pain I endured as I struggled upon the rack of torture,

Yet they dwell upon the girl of my dreams that is my future,

I’ve wondered then at times did you turn me in to stay away,

They’ve got me pegged no doubt, I’m going to come your way,

Some day I will when my head survives and I push the war away,

It’s not you I want gone in any way, I want every memory to stay,

I’m sure these men of well meaning heart have not even a clue,

They hang their degree and make analysis of what pain can do,

Mental and physical pain are awful but mental is a long time cure,

I doubt those shrinks go beyond books to a battlefield to be sure,

But I played their game yet I limped to their office to be healed,

There is so much physical damage done out on the battlefield,

Yet the military is stocked with shrinks so I guess it must be true,

Our body heals as our mind grows weak but I survived by you,

If not for my mental state I’d have gone home a month ago today,

Didn’t they understand it was the abuse that made my mind stray?

And my tether to you through space and time gave me will to live,

But mind and body healed quickly when I decided I must forgive,

I walked home tonight to nearly Panhandle*^ town before an angel came,

Now that I think of it with alert mind it seems the old man knew our name,

As I explained my service with shame he held my chin up and praised me,

I cried so hard in the angel’s hand that my tears made it hard for me to see,

The last kindness of touch came from a minister in a foreign cell,

Deep in the bowels of Mother Earth I felt to be somewhere near hell,

I’m so far from that place now yet it was only three months and a day,

No deeper could I fall as American sputum and disdain is on me to stay,

I saw you last within that cell as my battered mind found you there,

Or did you journey spiritually or astral to bring me love and care,

So weak of mind I welcomed the next strike to see you unconsciously,

And tonight this kind man or do I say angel has given a ride to me,  

Magic of our love took place that night as I fell into a deep sleep,

I danced with you in dreams so nice I have them memorized to keep,

Unknown to you I carried stolen photographs of you numbering two,

The last time home I stole*^^ another picture that’s beautiful of you,

My ride said he’d carry me part way before we prayed and shared,

His words of kindness and assurance were heavenly if compared,

Within the military ranks most sleep comes from liqueur and beers,

After he held my chin I’d sleep peacefully for the first time in years,

Telling me he knew the way as I slipped into dreams of love’s wonder,

We danced in a field surrounded by paper roses during my slumber,

Your face so beautiful and radiant as if a heavenly light shone through,

I said “My little angel of Texas nights I’m so deeply in love with you,”

And we danced a dance of heavenly romance before the world,

It was only a dream but in this dream a banner of our love unfurled,

Above our little Panhandle town it waived for all our friends to see,

The greatest honor given any man is that Patricia Napier loves me,  

There it hung announcing your love and welcoming your man home,

He woke me in front of your house, but how was your address known,

So surprised to see your house but at three A M I just sat and prayed,

That when I’d finally see you again I’d find your love had not strayed,

Obstacles came to prevent our joining and fear of stalking you,

My father had not left word so I needed to find him if it’s true,

No sooner than I sat my seabag down my mother begged of me,

Please find your father I fear he has deserted me don’t you see,

You saved me Patti although I may now be lost in darkness of mind,

As I left Borger to find my dad the misting fog felt cold and unkind,

My thumb and seabag rode the north wind in search of a hitcher ride,

With my check in a Navy snafu I was broke in pocket and broken inside,

Five days to attain Gainesville means I ran most of the wet and cold way,

I should have been in Borger with my frame standing at your door all day,

Yes I would, I’d hide away to be unseen but near your car to find you,

If they truthfully watched me as threatened I’d hide if I needed to,

My minds on you every moment as I drink away two years of blood,

Perhaps not two years but I spent my share of time in blood ‘n’ mud,

Now I know you are the only one I love and it shall always be so,

For over twenty two years I’ve prepared to love the one I know,

Each drop of liqueur consumed brought closure to a memory,

My father allowed my consumption as he knew it’s unfair to me,

For thirty days and nights I’ve drank alcohol with little to eat,

Then my father sobered me up and said return but don’t retreat,

My daddy’s sending me home and he said your name to my surprise,

Daddy was a very sweet man, yet so strong plus he was worldly wise,

To see the lights of Borger crossing a hill in a friend’s car says I’m home,

So strange Glenn’s**^^ family has twice taken me to the love I’ve known,

I ask of you and I pray that somehow someway I will see you this day,

You are a psychic angel to find me once more as we were pulling away,  

I love you Patti but no courage brought the same words*^* you said to me,

As tears fell from my face I knew I had to earn enough to return quickly,

Thank you so very much for telling me to return to you with my promise,

If only you had come a bit closer I would have said I love you with a kiss,

Soon my $3,000 hardship and injury pay came to restart my life,

I had but one goal in the next six months, to ask you to be my wife.

For Patti, the end, by Pat

*Napier: Patti’s maiden name.
**Wire Brush: A wire brush was inserted by rapist.
***James Brown: A great soulful American singer, his lyrics.
*^Panhandle:  A small town nearly half way between the fifty miles to Borger.
*^^Stolen photos: Taken from my sister Edi and cut from the library albums.
**^^Glenn Lloyd:  My friend in high school.  He was a better friend than me.
*^*Same words: Upon seeing each other “Why didn’t you write me?”  —Thirty years later her mother revealed she had taken my letters unknown to Patti