oo often spoken words are uttered that should never be used,

Some words so dangerous in meaning that using means abused,

In a darkened mind that is blinded with pain and extreme confusion,

I’ve carried liver disease, heart and more, my comfort is a delusion,

When I find brightness of day it often dims to quickly fade away,

I don’t feel like crying, as crazy as I sound it’s self inflicted anyway,

The halo I knew now has my ankles much like shackles I once wore,

An undertow has pulled me down or is it a hold to even life’s score?

Place me upon a hill of life to review my past life perhaps in disgust,

The failings of me have escalated to erode my flesh as if steel’s rust,

I’ve handfuls of sins given me by military orders of placement here,

Disappointment in myself doesn’t offer much cleansing in a lone tear,

I’ve been chasing a better man for half a century or more it seems,

Upon a time I was a better man but bit by bit I tore apart my seams,

A soft melody written for me lifts my spirit from the tangles of a spell,

The ill wishes thrust upon me has cast me into the darkness of a well,

Once a happy cabaret of my own creation it became difficult to play,

Would you think me unkind to reveal my reality to ease tossing me away,

I am broken with no pathway of repair nor worth in the eyes of my peers,

To understand my non-worth is easily understood especially with jeers,

Allow the tears of absolution to flow down my aged face before I pass,

Let those that once loved me shed tears upon the deceased of no class,

Am I now sick from personal ill being inflicting my own guilt upon me,

Once I stood in light of direction but now even in light I can barely see.

The end, by Pat.