A Lonely Tear


You don’t know the anguish a few words can mean if from you,

Sharing dark skies and starlight removes what I’ve been through,

Only you know what makes me feel right when seeing is obscure,

Now there’s a line across everything I see or a blank in sight for sure,

 

I saw blood drops upon the blanket of pure white snow to contrast,

A candle’s fire contradicted the cold of midnight that came too fast,

Looking for a certain man that had his finger quick upon the trigger,

In a jump long ago my back grounded me as my knee swelled fast,

 

There’s a dry creek covered in ice hiding my trainee’s mistake,

I look around in fear as I seek my drop sight that’s a natural lake,

Dizziness has taken control of the contrast that controls me now,

I must hide my chute and build a hidden shelter of pain somehow,

 

Had he been thorough he’d have known it was a dry creek at best,

Unless there is a severe storm or thawing there’s no water to crest,

Creeks are a source for water and fish along with attracting game,

I’ve been here before in search of things that are much the same,

 

Singing a song of you I wonder where you are and why I’m so blue,

It’s only a day past my last drive in a dream as I search Main for you,

My chute across branches that hung in despair create a pocket of air,

I know you don’t know this but I have a shrine built for you in there,  

 

I’ve driven Main a hundred times without sleep while living in this hell,

Ending it now I’d be where, but in hell for real, as far as I can tell,

But I believe in you and the many times your eyes said I love you Pat,

Patti you’re my life no matter where I am, I pray you’ll remember that,

 

Pray I’ll come home by choice and not shipped with honor guards near,

Don’t be afraid if you’re lonely as I am lonely too until you are here,

I see eggs of a small bird along with its nest that smashed under me,

Irony breaks my heart as I think of these as scrambled eggs of three,

 

As a meal the destruction is non eventful in our mind unless we think,

The birds of yellow I’ve seen before as I washed my face in the sink,

A window ledge was home for two pair of yellows so I knew the egg,

For almost a year I watched the pair of pairs so they were easy to peg,

 

What has happened to us as I look at a broken branch caused by me,

It’s not a lot but damage caused by man without care shouldn’t be,

On a greater scale I see the blood drops of red in contrast to snow,

It’s a beautiful red I think as I start to draw your silhouette real slow,

 

Red on white, red on white, I wish I had more extra blood left in me,

It’s a song or melody I wrote as I wrote this rhyme for my angel to see,

And I crawl into my igloo I’ve built as falling snow covers your beauty,

I have an opportunity to heal and I must do so to complete my duty,

 

I’m blessed please know, I get to cuddle with you in an igloo of snow,

For a few days this blizzard will roar and my knee will heal but slow,

And I will dream of you gathered in a ball with me for a few days,

The flow of red has ceased or slowed and I pray that way it stays,

 

Red on white, a heart that bled, birds that died, food wasted too,

It’s sad and wonderful because I get to spend my time holding you,

My treasured gold within my hold is but a photograph I hold so near,

Although never said your eyes from a photo will say, “I love you Pat”

And into the white snow will fall my lonely tear.  

The end, by Pat for Patti

I love you.