Photograph of an Angel
CONTENTS
Your Love Has More Value Known to Man
Auctioneer Sing Loud (Is My Imagination at Play)
Stardust, Moonbeams, & Gold Dust
Skipping Stones (Sweet Texas Rain)
1969 Misplaced Angel, Please Come
Old “Because” (The Sculpted Angel)
When Teardrops Fall From Angel’s Eyes (8/1968)
Chosen Love
Patti, my chosen love, I will love you until eternity reaches the end,
Forever you will be the angel that delivers the kiss to make me mend,
As sunrise kisses darkness goodbye in a never-ending kiss of farewell,
Darkness engulfs light that diamonds in space may reveal for a spell,
The clarity of light will fade as quickly as darkness engulfed the light,
In a never-ending serenade of moonlight bringing love into the night,
With you in my arms I embrace each moment with clarity of heart,
Let me see and share each ray of light with you until sunbeams part,
Once in the presence of many, a lingering kiss was shared by two alone,
Two souls became united in love’s surround to form a bond that was unknown,
We are but a twinkle in The Maker’s eye, the smallest of particles to be seen,
Yet within us two there is the vastness of love beyond anything foreseen,
From a tender touch upon my face the world became open for me to see,
That moment brought the courage of heart to fight for you if needed tirelessly,
To return to your hold that another momentary touch may enlighten me again,
Only you of dark hair and sparkling eyes of hazel brought life from within,
But from a touch comes the magic of influence that lights the mind in brilliance,
A mere touch is enough to influence my soul that I shall follow you as guidance,
Like gold dust settling to the creek bed my many thoughts rest there to be seen,
Memories taken of you as snapshots of time become treasures of seeker’s glean,
I conserve my energy that each spare moment be fully given, spare none,
You represent my sacrifices and my willingness to compromise for only one,
When your essence wafts through the night I have trembled in anticipation,
How you can fill the night air as if you are air is far beyond my comprehension,
I begin with you and end with you for without you there is no reason to be known,
Music becomes a gift heaven sent when in your presence, time has shown,
Each line of every love poem I’ve written surrounds you in some meaningful way,
Though unseen by others, when dissected the words reflect my love each day,
The bright light threshold that is unbearable to the eyes is seen by the soul,
Safe passage into God’s heaven and eternity with you is my long sought goal,
Time will then cease its speeding passage across oceans and earth’s boundaries,
Forever to be interlaced in you as shown by my temporary entry into the eternities,
To walk the golden pathway of life’s eternal garden of paradise holding your hand,
So simple a wish in its holding of hands yet so difficult to achieve entry to the land,
Said of silver and gold in this land of bounty that statutes and pathways are made,
I’ve never had need for such as my need has more worth than any man has paid,
Your love has more value known to man as I have experienced your lips on mine,
A “kiss” moment when time seems to halt and make an impression in time’s line,
My thoughts in a moment raced through my every desire for you and my need,
A beginning so paramount in my existence that I gave pause to concede,
Gold’s value faded to dust as did other thoughts of riches in my head,
In a moment each beat of my heart carried treasures of love instead,
Thirty-six million gallons of love have exited my heart to always return,
What man gives of the heart will return, the truest love is love we earn.
You are the treasure beyond gold’s worth; you are my reason to be.
Your Love Has More Value Known to Man
Your love has more value known to man as I have experienced your lips on mine,
A “kiss” moment when time seems to halt and make an impression in time’s line,
My thoughts in a moment raced through my every desire for you and my need,
A beginning so paramount in my existence that I gave pause to concede,
Gold’s value faded to dust as did other thoughts of riches in my head,
In a moment each beat of my heart carried treasures of love instead,
Thirty-six million gallons of love have exited my heart to return,
What man gives of the heart will return as the love we earn,
To the ends of the earth I have been while carrying this treasure within,
Carrying such extreme within while enduring war’s ravage was so foreign,
As quickly as I was drafted away time safely yielded me to your waiting arms,
To know someone so well yet they remain unknown is part of your charms,
In the darkness of war you brought light that I might see hope for an end,
Ever increasing my dependence upon the need of your love that I may mend,
Together we have left footprints along the lonely shores of distant lonely blues,
Though I have suffered through life with pain you too have paid for me hard dues,
Together we have danced through sadness and joy into the wonderment of life,
Long ago you asked me to dance forever in your arms and accepted being my wife,
In a masquerade of love we became whatever the other needed us to be,
Under dark of diamonds in the sky or full moon above we danced tenderly,
In a waltz across the span of space, grains of passing time fell beneath our feet,
As time places lines of experience upon my face the age makes your beauty complete,
Thirty years I’ve endured extreme pain of physical ailments unknown to most every day,
A love story must be told for anyone to understand how such love came into play,
“Once in the presence of many, a lingering kiss was shared by two alone,
Two souls became united in loves surround into a bond that was unknown,”
Two lines written by me expressing our first kiss as others watched in awe,
A surprise for both that came to be the desired moment our dreams foresaw,
Sweet sixteen and I, a hard-trained twenty with a hundred years of military expertise,
So young you were, yet an angel of one hundred percent woman wanting to please,
Ten days later I must leave the girl I’d met three years earlier and fell in love,
I impatiently waited those three years as if I was imprisoned by our Lord above,
Then my moment came with that first kiss and approval to date at last,
Those days of ten became short-lived although my heart filled with love fast,
Time expired as my shore leave was gone and I had to return to the reality of life,
With a heavy heart I kissed you goodbye and nurtured dreams you’d be my wife,
For over a year I carried your picture and did horrible deeds I’ve hid in my mind,
Each night I kissed the photograph that is the only true treasure to be called mine,
With the heavens above to comfort me I watched as the night diamonds danced,
Pulling her close against my chest in a special shirt pocket I had enhanced,
Horrible things came to be and I paid the price of a three month hospital stay,
To be honorably discharged into the path of American protesters to my dismay,
Within a year we walked the path of marriage vows to be together forevermore,
But, because of love I paid the price of extreme loneliness I’d never felt before,
For you I will pay any price, four times I have returned through the tunnel to earth,
Praying to God that I may return to she of my destiny since my humble birth,
Where the blood flows so goes the flow of love I carry within every living cell,
And for you I will drain every ounce if said your survival is so, then let the axe fell,
I am a spellbound boy that has aged beyond my expectancy of those that know,
Sunlight removed the darkness when I was awakened to love’s wonderful glow,
In but a moment I flew through the heavens to experience clarity of heart,
From her kiss a man escaped the cocoon of childhood and my life got its start,
Without the hardships and despair I would not know the value of my hearts gold,
So many wonderful things have quickly transpired because of the angel I hold,
Forever you will be the angel that willingly I will give my life if needed to defend,
Patti, my chosen love, it’s oh so true, I will love you until eternity reaches the end,
Have I said enough or have I said too much in my expression of love to you?
My greatest accomplishment came long ago when you took the King name too,
“Here lies Patricia Napier King’s husband,” is all that needs to be said of me,
With that honor and my treasured picture in my hold I can pass on happily.
Floating Above
Floating above a star I looked across the universe to share the view,
I reached for my darling of so many years and cried as I couldn’t find you,
A tear drop fell so large it smothered the star below to burn nevermore,
The excitement of the moment became heartbreak I’d never felt before,
As fear engulfed my soul my heart struggled to push blood through,
It paused and skipped beats struggling to keep beating without you,
The air that nurtured my body became stale and so hard to pull in,
In but a moment in time a year passed to find me frightfully thin,
I fell from the star and stumbled through the debris field of lost love,
Our pathway once made of gold was tarnished from pollution above,
The fantasy and real world I had grown to love had ceased to exist,
Our shared laughter no longer heard made death’s pull hard to resist,
Yes, some of our world was fantasy but it was our fantasy we shared,
Desperate loneliness I once endured is nothing to this, if compared,
With no will to walk alone, the paths became overrun by lost hope,
As I waste away I hear your voice telling me to find a way to cope,
How can she know me so well as to reach me from eternity’s domain?
Fifty years ago I heard a whispered voice through war’s hell so plain,
Did you actually reach out to me or was it my desire for you I heard?
As I gather my wits I remember a promise to you and recite every word,
“To the ends of eternity I will search for you until I find you or expire,”
I see rivers of stars reaching so far into time I fear the danger’s so dire,
As fire of exploding stars and galaxies sear my flesh I think of only you,
Some call it insanity but I call it a dream world shared by we two,
On a vessel named “Love” forged of faith, hope, and will, I set sail,
My beating heart propelled this vessel of love, though aged and frail,
As rigors of the unknown battered my being I thought of you all the while,
From deep within my being a photograph appeared bearing your smile,
Desperately I kissed the only piece of gold and lifetime treasure I knew,
Though copies had been made this was my original picture of you,
Blood and waste still marks the treasure as mine if challenged to own,
No one can understand the value of this photo of the only love I’ve known,
Encouraged by the image of you I set forth once again into the blue,
Something has changed, I realize, as the black of space fades from view,
Wishing I had paid more attention, did the sign say “The End of Eternity,”
What strange place is this, as I was suddenly standing beneath a tree,
A river nearby seems to play melodies of dance and I see a midnight moon,
In the bright of day I feel the night air as I wonder how it can happen at noon,
Butterflies of gold and red flutter about as do red hummingbirds with blue,
I see roses of red and every color as well, plus roses with a bright blue hue,
Realizing these are things you’d love to see and you most likely are here,
As my heart struggled to beat I knew I was passing on with you so near,
In the distance I hear Albert Cummings sing “Last Dance” and an angel sing,
My fading eyes struggled to see as darkness came I saw your wedding ring,
So near yet so far away as I pulled your photo to my struggling chest,
I knew if found in this position that you’d know I had done my very best,
I spent an eternity without you for a minute one day and it broke my heart,
If only I had found you because somehow I felt we would never part,
You were always in my heart, so in reality we were never apart in time,
Love at first sight was real for me and proudly I let you call me “mine,”
Pain is fading for the first time in fifty years as rain drops kiss my face,
With the water droplets comes a sense of well-being within this place,
As I view my life with images of mostly you I give thanks for loving you,
Night comes and my weary head can endure no more as heaven comes in view,
“Don’t be afraid,” I hear you say so tenderly with a sweet whisper only you own,
Safe passage has come as I awaken to the only love I have ever known.
The end, by Pat. For Patti.
I love you baby, that really scared me.
Auctioneer Sing Loud (Is My Imagination at Play)
Is my imagination at play or have we aged in a few short years?
It seems just a few years ago when I gave up smoking and beers,
Will things just gradually fade into an unknown place I don’t know?
In my imagination so many things seemed possible to soon be so,
Now time has damaged my face by gravities urge to pull down,
Time’s ravages seems to belch dark smoke all over my home town,
It’s been so long since I knew the man I use to be so very long ago,
Do you still know me or am I a part of the man you used to know?
I’ve become a broken and twisted structure of pain’s pillage,
Soon I may become the tortured old man known in each village,
Turns and twists down life’s challenging road have done its due,
I swear if not for true love I’d give anything to halt this and renew,
Everything I own means nothing to me if she is not mine to hold,
I have hidden away my only life treasure; it is my only true piece of gold,
No value will be placed on a photograph when the auction comes through,
It’s covered and stained with endurance, blood and pains I called my due,
Those two years of abstinence were a creation of cruelty’s master,
I came so close to heaven’s door then had to march away to disaster,
The engine drone brought tears of rejoice as in a stretcher I laid,
In just a few weeks of torture every due I owed in life had been paid,
The thunder came down with every ounce of pain a man could endure,
For a half century I survived more pain than other men could, I’m sure,
For her and only her would a man do so, it was dues to live my life,
Be kind to that old photograph; you see, sir, it’s a picture of my wife,
Auctioneer sing loud, I beg, that photograph was to be placed in my hold,
It may be just an old image of a beautiful girl but it was my lifetime of gold,
Let the sunbeams shining through rest upon the image for a moment or two,
I just know an angel will appear to help the beaten and assist them through,
How you heard my plea I’ll never know but the beam shone down,
In a moment or two there was so much brilliance and light around,
Before my eyes she stood once more so sweet to guide me through,
Patti, is that you? I’ve been so long at purgatories gate, I still love you.
Stardust, Moonbeams, & Gold Dust
Stardust, moonbeams, and gold dust from butterfly’s wings in flight above,
Bound within my imagination’s chains awaiting escape into my heart for love,
A tiny finger seen through blinded eyes gave twinkle of a future ring to see,
But to hold that jeweled finger near my heart rather than stained photo of she,
Fear perched upon insecurity’s lip, left room for little more than air to inhale,
Blood lost to a fluttering heart left weakness to stand with skin ashen and pale,
But for an imagination capable of blending memories with her imagined hold,
The east wind would have left me there beside a bloodied river alone and cold,
Did true love know me well or did my creative mind create the will to carry on,
Let moonbeams near, I ask, and place starlight upon her face before night is gone,
Though warmth of her touch passed long ago, a tightly held photo may help some,
Warmth I’ve imagined at times came from salt laced teardrops I taste in my gum,
Temptation of desperation is well-known in the darkness of jungles when far away,
The saddest thing a warrior knows comes not from death but a letter in the day,
More men died from love in that war than of friendly fire many of our men can attest,
I survived the nights because of soft words imagined or heard when I couldn’t rest,
In moments of weakness Angels were heard to flutter about and bullets felled,
Magic would happen and hope was found but only when her photo was held,
I have no doubt I felt for sure a powder of moon dust upon my forehead one night,
As tears fell during that three hundredth night I know I saw her in the moonlight,
She is the miracle and every miracle I have known, be it stardust or extended life,
From her comes a magic unknown and gifted to me when she became my wife,
Galaxies beyond our own may have beautiful creatures but non such as our own,
It is her I adore, my personal treasure, how could such a woman, remain unknown?
The end, by Pat. For Patti, I love you.
Wisest of Men
The wisest of men have tried to understand love and emotion,
I have accepted love at first sight as real as I have no option,
Sand from the eternal time clock never ceases to fall in flow,
As the sand that falls each granule of my love continues to grow,
An eternally growing mountain of love granules for your kiss,
I have known the greatest pleasure on earth and the loneliest miss,
From one kiss I have known the sweetest pleasure given man,
Because of it I have endured the loneliest year in time a man can,
Am I insane to continue loving you after no word in over a year,
Kissing your picture every day during the absence and to keep it near,
I fell in love with you two years prior but validation came from that kiss,
As a cygnet becomes a beautiful swan so grew a beautiful love from this,
They said I was crazy to have given my heart to unproven love,
How little they knew in understanding it came from heaven above,
Prayers to God for a love true to the love dreams given me by Him,
Dreams of you generate feelings so real proving it not love on a whim,
Salvation of mind came from a spiritual vision given me of her,
An angelic image so wonderful and real giving me strength to suffer,
Her presence stayed and was felt unknown to others but by me,
Love is entwined in the magical heart it’s something we can’t see,
The beauty of the world enhanced by her beautiful view of it all,
There is one title in life that I wish to be bestowed on me at my final call,
The granite stone given me will say it so true for the world to know,
“Here lies Patricia King’s husband” the honor my tombstone should show.
Destination at My Side
My time destination has been at my side for oh so very long,
With each beat of my heart and each second in time love is so strong,
I’ve tried and praised God upon bended knee to give glory ‘n’ praise,
Each day that has passed I have given thanks for the best of days,
Tears may come and tears may fall with each thought of how loving her began,
So much time so far from her arms and crawling in the mud of Vietnam,
She on my mind and in my heart I had no doubt where I would end,
Without her love I’d never find a way for my battered frame to mend,
I have left so many yesterdays of pain as a good memory of loving her,
With each pain a wave of her kisses and love have made healing stir,
Increased blood has been known to heal and each kiss makes it so,
When I was down so long ago the traces of her picture seemed to glow,
The hands of time don’t seem to slow when misery is deep inside,
Golden flakes of love have fallen in my mind and helped turn the tide,
Scars of shackles remain around mended ankles tattooed from the rust,
Deep inside I knew she prayed for me, deep in my heart in her I trust,
When life was so dear and death seemed to be oh so very near,
In her arms I’d lay with her in my mind and I cried a dehydrated tear,
Concrete floors and hardened hearts tried to remove her from me,
She had captured my heart long before they, that’s how it would be,
The hourglass of life filled with moments in time flowed with her love for me,
As the hospital airship banked hard I cried to be home in my land of liberty,
My heart beat hard and proud to think I would soon be in her sweet arms,
I remembered the kiss goodbye just after I had succumbed to her charms,
No one to blame, no reasons to look back at the bad breaks I’ve had,
I want loved ones to celebrate my life when I depart; there’s no reason to be sad,
No man could have more blessings than me except for the damned hands of time,
Each day of loving her from the first to the last I felt I was in my prime,
Bless my heart and bless my soul for I have more blessings than I deserve,
I could have had more time with her if when young I had enough nerve,
You can’t turn back the hands of time but realization can make the last best,
Looking through the windowpane of my life there was never time to rest,
Too much fun and too many good times to worry about being in pain,
Yea, I have had my share of hard times but I’d take a hundred more the same,
Times aren’t hard and times aren’t sad as long as I realize what I’ve got,
For so very long I have spent every night with the young beauty I sought,
Blessings come in many ways as she came to me last night I looked in awe,
So young in age and enough warmth of heart to make winter thaw,
Her eyes can capture the sunset or bring the green of Ireland in view,
To turn back the hands of time and spend more time there’s nothing I won’t do,
To dance in her arms seems to place me at heaven’s door each time we do,
I close my eyes and slip away and lose a decade and a year or two,
There’s no pain and no illness endured that could stop me wanting more,
Yesterday is another great memory; I don’t remember much pain anymore,
The hands of time must go on each day so stronger love comes my way,
With every passing day a better day of loving her comes into play,
We walked hand in hand down the aisle and then down the sands of time,
We will continue to walk hand in hand until time is no longer mine.
Skipping Stones (Sweet Texas Rain)
The sweet Texas rain covers my skin enveloping my being,
Much the same as your love that I’ve been blessed to be receiving,
The sun awakens from its sleep to bring warmth to my skin
You do the same each morning warming my heart so I can begin,
You are the world that my existence is within I’m happy to say,
The distant mountains of beauty remind me of you each day,
Everything of beauty brings thoughts of seeing you near,
Remembering our treks into the freshness is still very clear,
Skipping stones on water just to show you what I could do,
Funny how the little boy comes out with need to show off for you,
More adult kisses send the little boy scampering in and away,
The adult side of me comes into view because of the things I say,
The awareness of loving you so much came when I was confined,
It’s funny isn’t it how we pray for help fearing God is blind?
Yet, He is there to help us no matter how far we strayed away,
It is with this belief that we will see Him in heaven one day,
The three month recovery from the enemy’s abuse was through you,
If not for you and Him I doubt I would have made it through,
Cleanse my skin, sweet Texas rain; take the hurtful memories away,
Open my heart that I may forgive and love those men one day,
Each day is a struggle as I pray for clarity of heart and soul,
To be able to speak openly about it without tears is my goal,
Next to me through it all was the angel of my dreams and hope,
I’ve loved her since I was eighteen, stupid and smoking dope,
How many military lives are lost in the gutters of America? I ask,
They are not counted in the death tolls of war, though part of the task,
Reach to him I beg as he is Christ’s brother shouldn’t you do so,
I am so blessed she was there for me or truly there I would go,
Throw that stone at the glass house if you think you’re pure,
Lay with him in this gutter of his dreams and you will no longer be sure,
Hear his heart break each day because of the Dear John he got,
Sadly that was a tale that most servicemen heard a lot,
The angels of heaven wait to escort his sad soul home,
To be seated next to The Lord will bring him the love he hasn’t known,
No longer tragic of heart and mind he will blossom like a new rose,
God will deliver him peace from the protester’s animosity that shows,
In the mirror the reflection of a young man he hasn’t seen in so long,
Prior to war’s insemination of painful memories he was strong,
His bent frame shaped to reside within concrete gutters is straight,
His strength and youth returned as he came through heaven’s gate,
The loves lost await his entry as well as the saints departed,
Sins are forgiven as well as guilt for the war things he started,
The suffering of a great Man opened the kingdom that we may enter,
Yet we are so weak we cry at the pain from the crosses splinter,
Things she did for me long ago brought me home alive to her,
For the early discharge I am grateful and was willing to suffer,
Prayers and her love brought me peace when hell was everywhere,
I remember through a hallucination from abuse, she was there,
Am I in His Kingdom now because of the angel next to me?
Or in another place where suffering still exists called purgatory,
To be at her side let the suffering remain if that is the price,
She is the worth of gold and silver plus my suffering done thrice,
Let me skip for her a stone upon a golden pond in Heaven’s yard,
Loving her is so easy I must say, she made the suffering not as hard,
The greatest gift given me by God on this earth is her love,
Gratefully for her I kneel to pray in thanks to our Lord above,
Only I have been blessed to know the inner beauty angels share,
Her beauty within is more than her outward beauty that make men stare,
I remember saying such a lonely goodbye breathing in her hair,
I lingered there, praying to return that I may again feel the love there,
He in the gutter of war has not been so blessed as a fortunate one,
I am the fortunate one, when given her love I am the only man that won,
Yesterday’s horrors are gone, though deeply remembered with pain,
So deep in the hearts of warriors the horrors of war sadly remain,
Christmas Eve one night I prayed from the European hospital window,
My heart so lonely as the next mission was to be a rough one to go,
Looking across the snow into a Nativity Scene where Jesus laid,
I wondered if I was presented such horror could I make the grade,
Tearfully I gave thanks and prayed to return home to my love,
Vietnam passed quickly and I experienced hell from above,
Napalm’s death is brutal with no prejudice in who it tortured,
My soul and heart carried a fire for her that I kept and nurtured,
Skipping stones along the way thinking somehow she may see,
It’s so funny the crazy love things that came out of me,
Once while escaping the enemy’s chase I thought I needed her kiss,
So I did, I pulled out the picture I faithfully carried and did just this,
Bring the rain as I feel I need to be cleansed as deep as it can flow,
Wash out the painful memories of military actions I carry in stow,
Give me the nurturing gift of regrowth over memories long ago,
Let me give hope to others from our military that have sunk so low,
Bless their hearts with hope and love so they can return home,
Let them be loved by an angel such as my life has known,
I pray so deeply for my brothers of war that they find inner peace,
Let them know man’s mercy before their spiritual release,
There are some very good men, though they are so hard to find,
Men that truly love others with compassion and are truthfully kind,
Return home the protesters as their worth is no longer in need,
Let them awaken to the pain given soldiers in their actions and deed,
Forgive all, I pray, as they really felt they did what was best,
Forgetting the tenderness of children was once in a warrior’s chest,
He was a little boy in your neighbor’s yard needing mom’s attention,
On the battlefield he again cries for mama upon his life’s completion,
The bottle I threw long ago into the ocean’s depth with letter inside,
A love letter to you with tears blurring the ink because I cried,
Will never make home, I’m sure, as it was nearly fifty years ago,
Lay to rest the lonely memory that tracks my heart before I go,
Let me lay softly in my angels arms with true peace at last,
It is time for all to forgive and let no more stones to be cast,
Lay a tender kiss upon my worn face that I may again start,
Please place that olive branch close to my battle weary heart,
Unite in His glory for the sake of the fallen and those that wish they had,
Bring open your arms and accept the tired soldiers you treated so bad,
I will know the peace of Paradise because of God’s loving gift,
Peace came to me in the form of an angel that gave my wings lift.
I Look Along This Avenue
I look along this avenue so many miles from the start,
As I struggle still to catch a breath it’s taxing my faulty heart,
I tell you, my weeping dear, how much I wish it wasn’t true,
Try as I may I can’t stop the hands of time no matter what I do,
Look deep into my worn and sagging eyes and embrace my sad words,
I don’t want there to be any doubt in my passing before or afterwards,
The thought of leaving you behind adds to my pain and it really hurts,
Listen closely, drugs to ease the pain allows me clarity only in spurts,
I’m trying hard to explain to you of all the lives I’ve lived and died,
They’ve all been here on earth with you and with each departure I cried,
Some have been so transcendental but I felt them all with you,
I hope these things I say to you make some sense and ring true,
My life has filled with so much joy each event seems separate and new,
I also believe I’ve live this earth before and with you each time too,
I’m not afraid to die I fear more to leave and break your little heart,
But fear not, my dear, it won’t be that long that we will be apart,
I’ve laid on this bed before, although in another place and time,
The departing occurrence is similar and I held your hand in mine,
Remember back in ’22 we had a store selling groceries and ice,
Then I was much older than you but we were married and it was so nice,
As my mind departs and returns I want to share my visions with you,
I see my parents, brothers and all the relatives I’ve known too,
Yours are there and welcome me, though I fight staying there,
What’s here on earth is holding me because I love you so and care,
The pain and illness seems to be leaving me as I float above,
I see a flow of energy from my heart to yours that must be love,
Your little face and big beautiful eyes don’t want to see me go,
If I had my way I would stay here forever, this you already know,
I’ve fought so hard to stay with you and I’ll give all that’s left inside,
The ring on my finger is the thing in this life that I wore with pride,
Hold me tight and bring me near, I want to hear your heart in my head,
Remember the last time we made love in this very same bed,
I’m so very glad I lived through everything I did because it was for you,
I carried that picture of you through Vietnam and detainment, too,
Place it in my sock that I may have it where I concealed it then,
It’s still got blood and dirt on it from the missions way back then,
It helped me survive so very much and carried me home to you,
Place it again in my sock it has one last trip to help me through,
When you read my poems to you know please the words are all true,
But none I ever wrote meant more than my final words of “I love you.”
Every Time I Look at You
Every time I look at you I see you as never before,
What’s more amazing is that I always want more,
Serving you should be my goal each day such as a Queen deserves,
A lowly man servant and her highness that he serves,
The spirit of the land and those that aren’t blind should know,
A glance at your beauty should awaken them and show,
The fairest in the land and she that deserves more,
I bow my head in shame for it is I that closed fortune’s door,
Alas, as all is told it is no fairy tale within which we reside,
But in reality I still hold blame and in shame I should hide,
She deserves so much more than what I brought forth,
So deserving of jewels, gold and fortunes to sort,
If only it were medieval times and a dragon I could slay,
I could return to her as a hero the following day,
All she has from me is a fallen warrior that was unwelcome home,
This warrior if deserving to be called such was welcome by no one,
The tragedies of war so inflicted a lifetime of pain on me,
That there was no returning hero for her to see,
How I wish I had done more for my deserving little Queen,
For she is truly the finest this land has ever seen,
The chorus should now play loud and instruments sound strong,
Singers gather round and bring your best vocals to sing along,
The spotlights should shine upon her as she comes near,
Then when all is right I sing “I love you” for her to hear,
That’s about all this knight has to bring to her highness,
There is one thing more but it’s worth little, it’s my kiss,
Halfway dead in the battles that I fought,
I always carried your picture and your heart I sought.
1969 Misplaced Angel, Please Come
Misplaced angel, please come to me,
I’m battered, bloody and I can’t see,
Place your tender lips to my swollen lips,
I can handle the pain if you do it in sips,
Softly touch my dislocated fingers and joints,
When I see your angelic face my heart anoints,
Mend my wounded heart and help me to see,
Why so many Americans now hate me,
My little misplaced angel, I cry you don’t forget,
The man that loves you so and time wouldn’t let,
Love grow to never be torn asunder,
I look to heaven at night and I wonder,
Will we be together again or will I not endure,
We were meant to be together of this I’m sure,
Touch your tender finger where my blood still flows,
Wherever I am your picture goes,
Every time I studied your gorgeous being,
It was a misplaced angel that I was seeing,
In this torture chamber I live in a beautiful dream,
I’m with you then and to me it really does seem,
I’m in heaven with a misplaced angel God sent to me,
When the dislocation starts anew they don’t see,
My misplaced angel at my tortured side,
Help me endure and keep my falling pride,
One more time in case I should die,
Tenderly kiss my lips and each swollen eye,
If passing should happen to come true,
Then I promise to watch over you,
Such a sexy being with angel wings,
Someday I promise you wedding rings,
Pray for me tonight and hold me tight,
Misplaced angel for you I continue to fight.
The Kiss Goodbye
The kiss goodbye means more than most have ever known,
I experienced the pain of goodbye because of your love shown,
I became the only king earth has known for a few short days,
For love my heart had grown to accommodate your loving ways,
Today’s sensations I remember feeling for the very first time,
As if God had created a sensational emotion that was only mine,
It must be how he felt upon viewing his creation of our earth,
So much wondrous beauty seen by Him after our planet’s birth,
Night will follow day as I am certain it is not the other way,
God invented night so you and I can have a chance to love and play,
The overpowering sensations He generously allowed me to feel,
Were given with the ability to know feelings of loving you were real,
Feeling as if I could fly even after kissing you the long kiss goodbye,
Gave way to a new sensation of finding out love could make me cry,
For three days I felt as if I were ill with some virus that had to be unknown,
My love for you would soon be tested to such extremes no love has known,
Is it possible your loneliness and desire for me coupled with mine,
Are worthy of consideration or comparison to the truest loves in time?
Needing you overwhelmed my heart at times to the point of pain,
Sometimes today I wonder if my pain isn’t some that may remain,
Memories of how viewing acres of tulips in full bloom captured my mind,
After traveling Earth I must say the tulips nor any woman are near the find,
So mesmerizing are you that the sensation will last longer than my time,
Still mesmerized by your beauty to this day, I am so grateful you’re still mine,
No man deserves mornings of unequaled joy every day after unequaled day,
Yet each morning angels of heaven surround me with your actions at play,
To be encompassed by your essence of sensational delight is so much,
Then the kisses of love while your nakedness overwhelms me by touch,
The notion that emotions and sex aren’t a part of heaven must be wrong,
Sex while loving you brings emotions of heavenly delight accompanied by song,
Loving you brings sex to heart because of emotional need that love be shown,
Our love must shine like a beacon into the voids of the dark unknown,
Uniting as one is only done through sex when love is true and strong,
The many that take coupling as coming from couples in love are not wrong,
So many stars so far away being viewed by so many so far away from each other,
Wondering to myself are you also viewing the night sky, do you too suffer?
My heart would often flutter when thinking of you and I held your picture tight,
The flutter I believed came when you thought of me, bringing me scary delight,
As crazy as it all sounds I had dates with you in the form of a picture or two,
Don’t be jealous, I beg, I can explain two: they were both pictures of you,
Bless the day I found you sweet angel or I would have failed as a man,
You inspired me to be much more man than the man that I really am,
A better man came from the mess the military threw away that day,
My heart and emotions were dark and tarnished till you came into play,
Tenderness replaced the hardened skill and ability to kill by knife,
Despising others replaced by the desire to ask you to be my wife,
So many ills of my soul and character were made healthy by loving you,
You and you alone replaced the horrible things I had been through,
Blessings of just touching your tender face with the tips of my fingers,
So many things such as holding your waist became one of numerous pleasures,
Oh, how I love kissing the nape of your neck and enjoying sensations that lingers,
Loving you my true sweet angel is my privilege but actually a heavenly treasure.
End
I still struggle in search of words to call attention to my love,
Yet, I know I will find these words when allowed by God above,
Shared love is expressed in the act of our love-making,
Love giving sounds much better to me than love taking,
Of course, seldom is taking heard perhaps from me and you,
Perhaps it’s because love taking is one act we won’t do,
My heart I give with all I am to you and only to you alone,
Also please know that in reality you and your love is my home.
Again end,
Again, I love you more than rhymes can say. Please kiss me?
Be Kind if She Sees Me Young
My life is easily summed up with a photograph I’ve long held tight,
Too often I stand pain just to stand that I hide when an angel’s in sight,
May I borrow another day that I may survive to the next borrowed year?
There is something I struggle to say although it’s in my mind so clear,
All the words I have within my mind and yet I can’t say what I need,
You are the splendor of angels known and the goodness of which I feed,
You love hummingbirds in hovering flight and birds of color but mostly blue,
So filled with dismay as you listen to songs of singing lovebirds, too,
I’ve captured your beauty in my mind year after year for so very long,
Whispering words of love in your ear differs from when I wasn’t strong,
I still tremble in your arms as I did the first time I kissed your tender lips,
Like a teenage boy with new love born I can only perform in short sips,
I savor a last night on the continent filled with kisses and new-found love,
So sweet an angel was my long desired love of new she fit me like a glove,
A calming comes to my heart when I bring past kisses to be again new,
From birds of nature to motherhood I loved you even more as time flew,
Your love for roses shines through when a rose of red starts in bloom,
Like a red rose excites you, you bring wonderment and beauty to a room,
Lips so plush and tender the red must be touched by the Creator’s hand alone,
As He stood with miracles in His vest surely He said her beauty must be shown,
For all you are there is a price of due that I gladly pay to be with one men desire,
Since I walk the path of brutality’s master I must have once risen The Maker’s ire,
Not a toe, joint, muscle or organ has escaped the wrath of my draft board gift,
Yet, with you at my side I offer for dues plus more for the love that brings me lift,
We have walked pine forests as fireflies danced about and set the night afire,
I replay each memory and I remember how just a touch sets my soul on fire,
Time has crept through my home to create a grandfather also grand to exist,
The grass grew greener long ago, yet with you beside me I could finally resist,
Lover’s dreams and time machines exist hand in hand but time will never slow,
Place the wrath of time’s destruction upon my frame to spare the one I love so,
Be kind if she sees me young; please don’t think she has lost her mind in the end,
Love affects her vision but not her mind; don’t think her stubborn if she won’t bend,
Don’t argue her stubborn heart if about loving me as a younger me, I don’t mind,
To be loved by her in the worst degree is gold compared to a pale love most find,
Unconditional love is a gifted love the greatest scholars of intellect can’t explain,
When the last dance comes and it will too soon, I’ll even treasure heartbreak’s pain,
Age brings a realization to heart and mind that young hearts can’t understand,
Unless you know intense love, heartbreak can’t be there without love in your hand,
The greatest kiss I know is the greatest kiss she has known to forever share,
For just a kiss I hold so dear and for this beautiful little angel, I will always be there.
The end, by Pat. For Patti, I love you little girl.
1969 Patti’s Rescue
A beautiful melody came into my heart as an angel came into view,
As so many wonderful memories flooded my mind I knew little to do,
Memories of a breeze sculpting your gown to your form filled me with elation,
With the moonbeams highlighting empty spaces I saw heaven in creation,
The worth of a poor boy bears little value unless the future is seen,
I had little of value then, except my chiseled frame and senses so keen,
There are so many pieces of art created by men in the last stage of decay,
I knew this sculptural work of angelic art would forever be mine someday,
A serenade from heaven’s gate slipped through time’s boundaries for me,
As I thought of you for two years more, I feared once I’d no longer see,
Gifts from heaven have been so plentiful since I vowed my heart to you,
Knowing I may never return, my greatest gift to you was what I didn’t do,
I sacrificed the words “I love you” to be concealed until the time was right,
Instead I chose to weep in departure’s sadness staying silent into the night,
Steady in my course of inflicted heartache I couldn’t burden an angel so,
The conflict within my soul to tell you of my love also said never let her go,
Moonlight serenades surrounded my being as songs of love played in my mind,
Memories of loving you for so long brought proof of the love I’d prayed to find,
Raindrops unseen but felt by a breaking heart flowed with falling tears,
I’ll pray for you, oh, how hard I will pray, if even the time runs into years,
Reality has a harsh way of creating ways for the most feared to become real,
The first year with so much lonely pain was more than a young man should feel,
I must leave the hollow memories of hardship and stand like an orphan alone,
No one to understand my plight or my feelings of wrongdoings to atone,
The soldier’s day of return is no longer holy to anyone other than he,
Protesters have become his brother and his neighbors are now the enemy,
I must leave this port of departure’s memory and memories of her glow,
The highway is now my way as my family meant to welcome me didn’t show,
Santa’s reindeer have passed by the hospital once before and soon again,
Will the joys of youth return or have I aged too much to allow happiness to begin,
Her photograph still thrills my heart although my tears fall harder now,
I must find a way to lessen the burdens of bloody war from my heart somehow,
My heart hardened so that I could survive the loneliness I had to survive,
Her appearance yesterday gives hope that the mystery of love will revive,
The glow of heaven’s light surrounded her eyes, as she left I fell to my knees,
It’s a miracle no one saw but me, I guess reality is all the normal mind sees,
Moonbeams glow, diamonds come twinkling from the skies and tears that fell,
Kisses upon a bed and those she placed upon my head and words I didn’t tell,
An angel sitting next to me bringing the comfort I’ve needed to mend from the past,
She is here, at my side, I pray I live forever in this heaven of destiny’s forecast.
The end, for Patti by Pat,
Written in 1969 the day after a white Falcon appeared over the hill on Coble Drive.
The first good thing that happened to me in a year and a half after I had kissed
Patti goodbye. Her mother had hidden my letters.
1969 I Can’t Bring You Spices
I can’t bring you spices from the east but I will bring what spice is left in me,
The mysteries of the world may remain unknown but I won’t be a mystery,
Stones will go unturned but for you I will unearth all I can if you want me to,
The mystery of love may be unlocked but your loving me is a mystery, too,
The sounds of a wartime drum and bugle drafted me far from you,
As my heart beat so hard for you, love became the only beat it knew,
Whistle a melody of beautiful tones sweet birds of this warring hell,
Harmonic melodies that carry love mate calls are calls for me as well,
I carry love for you; this love carried inside my heart helps me carry on,
The greatest fear I carry is that you will find another while I am gone,
I fear so much, yes I am afraid most of the time in this torturous strife,
Have you any fear for me? Do you ever pray for my endangered life?
In war’s surround the beauty of Mother Nature exists as danger nears,
I find your beauty in her nature as Gaia surrounds to comfort my fears,
Pray for me I pray, pray I return, for return has no doubt to whom I seek,
My thoughts of you become prayers as I pray your love is not fading weak,
I’m secluded in my duties as I must remain secluded for if seen I die,
Yet seclusion brings such an emptiness creating the loneliest of cries,
Have you seen me in your mind as dreams draw near for eyes to close?
I draw you near my heart as I hold your photo dear inside my filthy clothes,
I’ve been here once before unknown to you and I’m made to return,
Once I was known by you and upon my return your love I hope to earn,
As the moon floats across the canyons and valleys of this place I’m in,
I think the moon has floated across the Texas plains where you’ve been,
As the wind whispers your name, I’ve whispered your name in return,
Have you heard your name carried upon the winds causing concern?
I have a rising need that grows as I view the image of your pretty face,
The rising Texas plain coming into view is my image of a heavenly place,
Morning brings new hope and a yesterday I have survived once again,
Yesterday’s never see new mornings so yesterday’s hope didn’t begin,
My minds a clutter with the desperation of others to be left behind,
I feel it’s possible as I depart that within the discards is a part of my mind,
I’m so sad for those to remain as my journey had a short beginning to end,
Theirs contained more middle in time than I have endurance to spend,
So much sadness I feel as goodbye takes me to the place I knew before,
There seems to be no joy if those you leave must return to death and war,
I can see for miles and miles, yet the see I need is far across the earth,
Miles and miles of sea I see with no need to see unless state of my birth,
The miss within my heart is amiss your kiss but there is so much I miss,
My heartbeat misses your lips to create the skip created by your kiss,
Love’s story must listen clear to hear the story of my survival by love,
It’s a love story from story books of love sent from heaven above,
An angel in love with a sailor in combat is a love story needing told,
Heaven will begin when the story of my love ends in my angel’s hold.
Predestined to Love Only You
Do you love me and has your heart always held me dear,
Am I the one you thought of when you were draped in fear?
After our hearts first touched and I told you I’d return some day,
Did you dream of that day and wish I’d take you in a sexual way,
Was it that I excited your loins as well as brought your heart to beat,
Or was it thoughts of golden coins and the rewards you’d reap,
Could it be you just thought of me in ways of delight and more,
The answer inside my traveled heart is simple, it’s called amour,
My eyes saw love in such a simplistic way, I guess, you’re the one I adore,
I understand I do, how could he of such meager means expect an ounce more,
I am grateful beyond spoken word to have what I am allowed to hold,
Scarlet sunsets break through my water-filled eyelids to show the gold,
The globe of our sun burst through the tears bringing a kaleidoscope of starburst,
And for a moment I felt relief as if my heart had quenched its thirst,
The pain shows in my anthem of love I’ve written in rhymes for you,
I have written the truth, Patti, I garner strength to carry on it’s true,
As I returned from across the sea I heard Angel’s trumpets blare,
I raised my weary head from the cot to see and I saw an angel there,
‘Tis true, I swear, from tears to the north of loneliness I felt the loneliness leave,
Perhaps it was love brought by you that was given my soul a needed reprieve,
It called out in anguish as the wind swept clean the soiled green of earth,
That I may touch the earth of my homeland and pray for our rebirth,
How the medic knew, I wonder, at that exact moment he gave me your photograph,
To hold near my heart during the anguish of rejection given by America’s citizen staff,
I needed it so, to hold near my anguished heart because somehow he just knew,
To be predestined to love someone is rare yet I was born to love only you,
Heaven is there to accept the holy souls of the departed few allowed to deploy,
The feeling in my heart is that we will together be there to share eternity’s joy,
And I held close your picture as I cringed inside yet I clung to the belief of predetermined love,
The belief that we were predestined to be, to be together as determined by our Lord above.
Old “Because” (The Sculpted Angel)
In the darkness of night a man’s mind fell into the waste of what was,
The deniable became undeniable in his mind as he asked it what she does,
It’s alright my love, she said, I know you’ve heard it all before but now no more,
It’s all right my love is all he heard, his poor heart fell apart the day before,
In a desperate mind there’s something living deep inside that brings a little hope,
You and me oh Lord, oh help me please my dear Lord, I won’t use that old rope,
Everything she meant to me became a misstep into my lost hopes of a love eternity,
I never stood a chance he thought as he prayed and got down on one knee,
The sculpted angel stool taller than life reaching out to the heavens above,
Sculpted marble to reach heaven above as a representation of a senior girl he loves,
The rope within the Angel’s grasp seems so out of place for an angel to hold,
As he chipped away year after year he grew weary year by year until very old,
His heart loved the image he had traced year after year and day after lonely day,
Told to stay away so he did as told yet he knew her image after tracing it every way,
The feces-stained photos showed the wear across her long dark beautiful hair,
He had worn her image within while detained and she appeared as real over there,
Each night he walked the streets asking everyone and anyone if they had seen her,
The vision of a marksman had faded in a lifetime to become nothing but a blur,
Yet the love of a lifetime transferred to his fingertips to sculpt the last love he’d held,
An angel sculpted with wings so spread that he could stand inside to feel them meld,
Have you seen her? The poor soul would ask and those that knew said yes,
They would tell the beaten warrior that she was beautiful and they could only guess,
Maybe she is in Oklahoma with her parents getting the farm ready, my old friend,
That seems to satisfy his broken soul as he walked on home singing “against the wind,”
A few that asked why he never saw her when he came home just heard “because,”
They dig a little deeper and ask their old friend to hear “it musta been my flaws,”
He never made it home that night as a rejected brother walked through town that night,
The nickname “because” stuck to him but most knew he had just lost his fight,
Unknown to him the angel in heart had searched him out but he wasn’t there,
For years the beautiful angel searched for him as she left home to search everywhere,
Each place he had been she would be but each time it seemed a little too late,
The things she wanted to hide never needed to be hidden because of changed fate,
He started his sculpture with hope singing, “someday lady you’ll accompany me,”
Those that didn’t know him thought he sang to sing because he was half crazy,
The dreams of a lost warrior still filled his soul as he bought stone to sculpt alone,
Soon the marble was massive and through the night he’d sing Bob Seger all alone,
“Against the wind, I remember what she said to me as she held me oh so tight,”
“Against the wind we were running against the wind,” he sang into each lonely night,
The strangers once his friends were no longer that as they threw stones as once before,
He fell apart when no one greeted him upon discharge, he just couldn’t take anymore,
He sang”I remember when she said to me and swore it never would end, I wish I didn’t know”,
A line in the song he never finished and everyone wondered what is was from long ago,
A dark night when reveal of the statue came to be someone wondered where’s old “because,”
Found touching her face as he had finished the most beautiful angel titled “My Angel that Was,”
The smile upon his face said he had found the angel of his broken heart,
He touched her face as he had in dreams while the enemy tried to pull him apart,
The shackles upon his ankles were never understood but an entering older woman knew,
She cried out, “oh, Pat, it’s so beautiful, I’m here, I’m so sorry, I’m still in love with you,”
Down on Main Street softly played from somewhere as she passed away that night,
A legend of love came to be as a story of love was named, “when lovers finally unite,”
At the end of Main and Roosevelt, an old building fell down and the statue was placed,
So beautiful the statue is with his shackles placed for all to remember the hell he faced.
The end, by Pat for you Patti.
I’m glad you found me, I love you.
I realize that without you I am nothing.
The Medic New (Aug 1969)
Do you love me and has your heart always held me dear,
Am I the one you thought of when you were draped in fear?
After our hearts first touched and I told you I’d return some day,
Did you dream of that day and wish I’d take you in a sexual way,
Was it that I excited your loins as well as brought your heart to beat,
Or was it thoughts of golden coins and the rewards you’d reap,
Could it be you just thought of me in ways of delight and more,
The answer inside my traveled heart is simple, it’s called amour,
My eyes saw love in such a simplistic way I guess, you’re the one I adore,
I understand I do, how could he of such meager means expect an ounce more,
I am grateful beyond spoken word to have what I am allowed to hold,
Scarlet sunsets break through my water-filled eyelids to show the gold,
The globe of our sun burst through the tears bringing a kaleidoscope of starburst,
And for a moment I felt relief as if my heart had quenched its thirst,
The pain shows in my anthem of love I’ve written in rhymes for you,
I have written the truth, Patti, I garner strength to carry on it’s true,
As I returned from across the sea I heard Angel’s trumpets blare,
I raised my weary head from the cot to see and I saw an angel there,
‘Tis true, I swear, from tears to the north of loneliness I felt the loneliness leave,
Perhaps it was love brought by you that has given my soul a needed reprieve,
It called out in anguish as the wind swept clean the soiled green of earth,
That I may touch the earth of my homeland and pray for our rebirth,
How the medic knew, I wonder, at that exact moment he gave me your photograph,
To hold near my heart during the anguish of rejection given by America’s citizen staff,
I needed it so, to hold near my anguished heart because somehow he just knew,
To be predestined to love someone is rare yet I was born to love only you,
Heaven is there to accept the holy souls of the departed few allowed to deploy,
The feeling in my heart is that we will together be there to share eternity’s joy,
And I held close your picture as I cringed inside yet I clung to the belief of predetermined love,
The belief that we were predestined to be, to be together as determined by our Lord above.
The end, I love you Patti
Written in August 1969 about Patti upon my return to the United States to the Philadelphia Naval Hospital.
As we landed we were allowed to touch American soil from our stretchers.
A Photograph From Heaven
So often I’ve thought of you for hours just to pass the time,
It seems each time my heart wants to burst out in a love rhyme,
Last night I looked upon a star brighter than any star I’ve seen,
It reminded me of your eyes so crystal clear yet with hazel sheen,
I watched the star until morning blue drowned the bright out,
With the brightness of day an angel arose bringing joy about,
To see the wonders of my morning angel I’d sacrifice weeks,
How can it be that with a smile her heart and soul speaks,
A kaleidoscope of color erupts with spring’s colors galore,
Her red lips beckon to me in such that I find need to explore,
My heart awakens to her as she allows her areola pink to expose,
I’ve wondered in the darkness when was it her love for me arose,
Too long I’ve lingered in illness when loving her should be shown,
Trapped in a dungeon of pain I have disdain for the pain I own,
Darkness of pain contrasts the beautiful colors that surround her,
When I look at her worrying for me I wonder what I have to offer,
I’ve a small piece of gold that truly seen is a photograph so old,
How can a picture bring the colors of earth alive when in my hold,
I have seen blue skies when the darkest of times were at hand,
When so very ill and beaten although impossible I could stand,
A picture of her may be a sculptor’s desire and dream of fame,
As the sands of time fall through the opening of glass it’s a shame,
Although she ages to become more beautiful to me it saddens me still,
My fingertips softly on her image awakens long ago love and always will,
She is still the photograph from heaven each night when I hold her tight,
The sparkle of her hazel eyes awakens youth of old to feel lover’s delight,
I open my aged eyes to see the beautiful teenage bride that I still adore,
She’s the girl I love as the colors of rose are upon her anatomy once more.
The end. By Pat for Patti. I love you.
Paper Roses (The Walk I Took)
Time frame October to November of 1969.
Some verses are taken from a poem I wrote in 1969, “The Walk I Took.”
No one picked me up at the airport upon my discharge. A fifty mile walk.
Paper Roses (The Walk I Took)
In the darkness of the night I imagined holding you tight,
Perhaps an angel or true an old man took me from the fight,
Free at last but with silent wonder if you were still in love,
I promise you beautiful angel you’re all I have dreamed of,
Since the draft notice came you have been on my mind,
A sudden fear is that I’d return in a box or worse be blind,
Your beauty is so overwhelming that breath seems gone,
My heart has yearned so for you, pray have you moved on?
Never set me free or my heart will be one of the forgots,
Each reflection and every prayer had you in my thoughts
Dance with me please in the darkness of night on the road,
If only you will, it will help unburden me of this heavy load,
Every sweetness in my heart is yours forevermore and a day,
True love is like a paper rose so beautiful to never wilt away,
I hope some day there is an announcement of King and Napier*,
So wonderful it would be to see our names in our local paper,
I have failures that captured the freedom of my battered mind,
For America I survived so much and did things of nightmare kind,
Upon a sea of dreams I found way across icebergs and much more,
Icebergs are but obstacles left floating from battles of days before,
Thank God for memories of your delicate little hand touching me,
I’m in a gutter I confess and it’s not of the normal type you see,
For the wire brush** damage is gone by rectal surgery and more,
Shock therapy with stick in mouth took some memories of before,
“I need you, walk with me”*** I remember kissing at your door,
“I need you,” James Brown sang to me but at your door as before,
Look at me, I beg, do I still have all my limbs and is my mind okay,
I have been told I’m a stalker is that how you feel now, each day?
I carried your photo near my heart and held it so tight at night,
‘The bombs bursting in air and rockets red glare’ is a bad fright,
Words that sound so wonderful until experienced first hand,
By draft board letter two years ago I was forced to make a stand,
Damaged limbs and beaten torso along with tortured mind,
Brought months in a hospital bed as psychiatrist had a find,
To carry a girl’s image faithfully without word for a year or more,
Brought words of disbelief from doctors asking me what for,
My faith in you sounded insane as they listened with disbelief,
“How could you do that?” they said, “your mind needs relief,”
They shocked my mind and called me a stalker of mental kind,
Telling me my love for you is unhealthy and the fantasy kind,
My heart broke as I cried in the doctor’s chair to think I’m insane,
Shock therapy for wrongs done to me left some of love’s flame,
During shock therapy somehow I spoke of you and your age,
They declared to leave this place I’m still stalker at this stage,
It seemed so odd they’d concentrate on love instead of war,
Let’s address my state from being sodomized and even more,
Or the pain I endured as I struggled upon the rack of torture,
Yet they dwell upon the girl of my dreams that is my future,
I’ve wondered then at times did you turn me in to stay away,
They’ve got me pegged no doubt, I’m going to come your way,
Some day I will when my head survives and I push the war away,
It’s not you I want gone in any way, I want every memory to stay,
I’m sure these men of well meaning heart have not even a clue,
They hang their degree and make analysis of what pain can do,
Mental and physical pain are awful but mental is a long time cure,
I doubt those shrinks go beyond books to a battlefield to be sure,
But I played their game yet I limped to their office to be healed,
There is so much physical damage done out on the battlefield,
Yet the military is stocked with shrinks so I guess it must be true,
Our body heals as our mind grows weak but I survived by you,
If not for my mental state I’d have gone home a month ago today,
Didn’t they understand it was the abuse that made my mind stray?
And my tether to you through space and time gave me will to live,
But mind and body healed quickly when I decided I must forgive,
I walked home tonight to nearly Panhandle*^ town before an angel came,
Now that I think of it with alert mind it seems the old man knew our name,
As I explained my service with shame he held my chin up and praised me,
I cried so hard in the angel’s hand that my tears made it hard for me to see,
The last kindness of touch came from a minister in a foreign cell,
Deep in the bowels of Mother Earth I felt to be somewhere near hell,
I’m so far from that place now yet it was only three months and a day,
No deeper could I fall as American sputum and disdain is on me to stay,
I saw you last within that cell as my battered mind found you there,
Or did you journey spiritually or astral to bring me love and care,
So weak of mind I welcomed the next strike to see you unconsciously,
And tonight this kind man or do I say angel has given a ride to me,
Magic of our love took place that night as I fell into a deep sleep,
I danced with you in dreams so nice I have them memorized to keep,
Unknown to you I carried stolen photographs of you numbering two,
The last time home I stole*^^ another picture that’s beautiful of you,
My ride said he’d carry me part way before we prayed and shared,
His words of kindness and assurance were heavenly if compared,
Within the military ranks most sleep comes from liqueur and beers,
After he held my chin I’d sleep peacefully for the first time in years,
Telling me he knew the way as I slipped into dreams of love’s wonder,
We danced in a field surrounded by paper roses during my slumber,
Your face so beautiful and radiant as if a heavenly light shone through,
I said “My little angel of Texas nights I’m so deeply in love with you,”
And we danced a dance of heavenly romance before the world,
It was only a dream but in this dream a banner of our love unfurled,
Above our little Panhandle town it waived for all our friends to see,
The greatest honor given any man is that Patricia Napier loves me,
There it hung announcing your love and welcoming your man home,
He woke me in front of your house, but how was your address known,
So surprised to see your house but at three A M I just sat and prayed,
That when I’d finally see you again I’d find your love had not strayed,
Obstacles came to prevent our joining and fear of stalking you,
My father had not left word so I needed to find him if it’s true,
No sooner than I sat my seabag down my mother begged of me,
Please find your father I fear he has deserted me don’t you see,
You saved me Patti although I may now be lost in darkness of mind,
As I left Borger to find my dad the misting fog felt cold and unkind,
My thumb and seabag rode the north wind in search of a hitcher ride,
With my check in a Navy snafu I was broke in pocket and broken inside,
Five days to attain Gainesville means I ran most of the wet and cold way,
I should have been in Borger with my frame standing at your door all day,
Yes I would, I’d hide away to be unseen but near your car to find you,
If they truthfully watched me as threatened I’d hide if I needed to,
My minds on you every moment as I drink away two years of blood,
Perhaps not two years but I spent my share of time in blood ‘n’ mud,
Now I know you are the only one I love and it shall always be so,
For over twenty two years I’ve prepared to love the one I know,
Each drop of liqueur consumed brought closure to a memory,
My father allowed my consumption as he knew it’s unfair to me,
For thirty days and nights I’ve drank alcohol with little to eat,
Then my father sobered me up and said return but don’t retreat,
My daddy’s sending me home and he said your name to my surprise,
Daddy was a very sweet man, yet so strong plus he was worldly wise,
To see the lights of Borger crossing a hill in a friend’s car says I’m home,
So strange Glenn’s**^^ family has twice taken me to the love I’ve known,
I ask of you and I pray that somehow someway I will see you this day,
You are a psychic angel to find me once more as we were pulling away,
I love you Patti but no courage brought the same words*^* you said to me,
As tears fell from my face I knew I had to earn enough to return quickly,
Thank you so very much for telling me to return to you with my promise,
If only you had come a bit closer I would have said I love you with a kiss,
Soon my $3,000 hardship and injury pay came to restart my life,
I had but one goal in the next six months, to ask you to be my wife.
For Patti, the end, by Pat
*Napier: Patti’s maiden name.
**Wire Brush: A wire brush was inserted by rapist.
***James Brown: A great soulful American singer, his lyrics.
*^Panhandle: A small town nearly half way between the fifty miles to Borger.
*^^Stolen photos: Taken from my sister Edi and cut from the library albums.
**^^Glenn Lloyd: My friend in high school. He was a better friend than me.
*^*Same words: Upon seeing each other “Why didn’t you write me?” —Thirty years later her mother revealed she had taken my letters unknown to Patti
As Your Guardian I Serve
All the diamonds in the land couldn’t catch the sparkle in your eyes,
Encircle the hazel with the most beautiful of blue from God’s skies,
Catch rainbows in your mind’s eye to locate colors that need to be,
That you may understand how her angelic eyes have captured me,
Kisses from my angel are enough to make this man’s knees weak,
The sweetness held inside could make men love her within a week,
If other men knew her as I do then she would have no need for me,
So many suitors would gather round in hopes she would pick he,
If only I could build a garden to celebrate who she is to all she knows,
Master’s hands would sculpt statues that her beautiful image shows,
I’d place these beautiful statues amongst flowers of beauty that grow,
To be a memorial to the most beautiful woman I will ever love or know,
Ahead of all would be the man that worships her as no other could,
So proud I am that I am the man that worships her as only I would,
I have flown the skies powered on high by her kiss placed on me,
My heart took flight with me in tow lifting me high that I may see,
I have seen the gates of heaven given me as a gift from loving her,
I am the richest man in the universe though I have no riches to offer,
Yet I am rich of heart with more golden memories than I do deserve,
She has taken this lowly servant as her guardian and I happily serve,
Around the garden are oaks with majestic branches reaching high,
Mountains with snow capped peaks rise in the horizon meeting sky,
Hear the creek softly flow with water so pure it cleanses your being,
My angel belongs here in this garden that we as visitors are seeing,
Fruits of delight favored by her would grow for her around the year,
The beauty of heavens gardens were watered by a love given tear,
So many tears of love I gave to mother earth and now placed here,
Loving you sweet Patti is inscribed into my heart to have you near,
The photo of my angel that I carried near my heart for so very long,
Placed perfectly at the entrance surrounded by beautiful birds in song,
A path of golden stone would lead the way through this garden for her,
The sad part of this rhyme is that a dream and a rose is all I can offer,
So much joy given me that has made suffering pain an easy thing to do,
You’re the only angel I’ve loved, I would do most anything to please you,
Take my heart, it’s inscribed with your name so it’s never stolen or lost,
I am the richest man in the world please know it was worth any cost.
When Teardrops Fall From Angel’s Eyes (8/1968)
As teardrops fell from an angels eyes I watched them fall to earth,
Each plant they touched enriched in color and increased in its girth,
When teardrops fall from angels eyes what anguish brought them forth
As angels smile their eyes light up, of this I do have a wisdom of a sort,
I’ve seen an angel cry tears of joy as her heart filled with wondrous joy,
As a joyful teardrop fell through earths sky a rainbow was seen to deploy,
Rainbows of beauty beyond words savored in my heart and in my mind,
Angel’s tears form a mist of mystery when clouds are impossible to find,
The brightest of rainbows come from angels filled with love new found,
Her beautiful eyes shone like diamonds in the night when I came to town,
Oh how it labored my heart to watch a tear form when I had to depart,
Yet came tears bringing joy to all but from my angel’s saddened heart,
A rainbow of angel’s creation came to be from my angel’s falling tears,
I wore a protective barrier of her and through war she soothed my fears,
Born for the other and to each other our eyes said yes before a word,
For five seasons I will pray she endures until my words are again heard,
From across earth came reflected sun from my angel’s sparkling eyes,
That created the streaks of shooting stars across our nighttime skies,
Do rainbow arches kiss the citizens goodnight each night back home?
Our little Texas town has given heavily to this war more than any known,
Rainbows from heaven fill earth’s sky born from but an angel’s tear,
Through eyes of mist I watched a rainbows birth as it became clear,
From an angel’s saddened heart came tears yet still brought joy to all,
A rainbow appeared from her teardrops mist as tears started to fall,
All I have is a photograph in form and it’s imprinted on this warrior’s soul,
I love that little angel and must find a way to return and depart war whole,
The brightest of rainbows shine from angel’s eyes answering love’s call,
Her sparkling eyes and dazzling smile will again lift my soul if I don’t fall,
Too she carries beauty in afterthought not realizing her photogenic face,
That this angels teardrops are falling for me seems to be so out of place,
I pray every rainbow of her heart and soul shall never bear burden for me,
When an angel cries from my joyful return are the only tears I want to see.
The end, by Pat for Patti. Written originally in 1968.
Note:
Written from memory thus it may not be exact.
Still it means I love Patti with all my heart and soul.
Upon first sight we linked.