Is all I have left but an empty dream to be led into darkness,

Or perhaps an opaque world with perimeters of what I miss,

If I lay here an hour or two will I awaken to the loss of you,

All I am is what I see in you and the world within your view,

As time sheds waste of past is there something unlearned,

Is something hidden in wrath’s message that I haven’t learned,

To learn compassion I was submerged in pain that I may know,

We grow each time compassion and empathy is allowed show,

Submerged in pain for thirty years was it a struggle of worth,

A world opaque or blind is my future to remain upon this earth,

As I come from the submerged I have another lesson to learn,

Optimism has been washed away in another life lesson burn,

Is this a crossroad of reflection or simply a choice in movement,

Have I have failed so extreme that this is a message Karma sent,

My failings if seen by me are so extreme that mountains pale,

Is enormity a common thread of thought when men do fail,

Absent a fountain of needed nourishment rich of you I would die,

As my brain swelled from virus it found release through my eye,

Was this the timer that sat in wait for the moment it was to be used,

Had I done better is it something my guardians could have refused,

There is a hand that guides my struggles yet too often I ignore,

I tried to endure yet I’m filled with shame for weakness to implore,

In my weakest moment I cried “mama” but worst I said “your” name,

Similar to mine I’m blessed they didn’t realize my deepest shame,

Our enemy would have used you or worst abused you to their gain,

For that I have deserved most anything to fall upon my worn frame,

An abyss filled with my darkest failings would remain forever dark,

I’ve earned my plight perhaps but without you, life would be stark,

For over six years I’ve had at least twenty five surgeries to endure,

As I forced health and strength’s return I felt I had become sure,

Words within my rhymes tell of my pleasure to be entranced in you,

As I locked into your beautiful eyes all the gifts of life came through,

Don’t cry now, stop for a moment and realize I will hold you instead,

Visions of you will still be there, alive and young, flowing in my head,

To be held will feel the same and perhaps the outer edges I’ll see,

I’m so sorry that it seems each deep gaze brings reality home to me,

It’s impossible now to have that long loving gaze without complexity,

With each gaze I judge without fail how much harder it is to see,

Let’s just lay here and hold each other, it’s where we both belong,

Softly place a kiss upon my eyelids and I’ll feel nothing is wrong.

Then end, by Pat. I love you baby