In the silence of the moment I find comfort in loving you,

A place in the heavens that in someway pulls me through,

Dimensions of departure must have an unseen bridge way,

Although this moment is so dark I must find light of day,

As suddenly as I was cast into this presence he returned,

The secrets they seek don’t dwell within me to be learned,

I am but a messenger seeking the sights and sounds as told,

Sadly today I am the center of attention as if I contain gold,

I am quickly hung with my hands while tied behind my back,

By my hands that are tied behind my back I’m hung until a crack,

My shoulders painfully dislocate after my strength to resist wanes,

Darkness comes and I am grateful to pass out instead of feel pains,

A tear follows the contours of my face as I face that I may lose her,

To lose her is significant as it would be through my life’s departure,

I seek an exquisite presence as light fades to black within my mind,

A silhouette of my special angel’s profile is the only one I hope to find,

This dimension of existence is new found as I enter unto it to explore,

I replay the memory of our first kiss over and over needing her more,

Suddenly I awaken to the spray of cold water up my nose and face,

My hips and legs pain as weights tied to my ankles dislocate each place,

Pain is a beast unto itself that raises tolerance to such extremes,

At first I’d pass out but as I adjust each day I tolerate more it seems,

My preference is to pass out, it allows me to enter peaceful dreams,

Dreams of her, she of whom I’ve dreamt since meeting her in my teens,

Has escape become my reality and has my existence become unreal,

How could I, a young boy but a man, be suffering through such ordeal,

I am but a boy in my heart seeking the angel I so adore so very far away,

As they strike my body yelling commands I seek darkness of yesterday,

Gently I fade into a world mixed of her and infliction upon my frame,

I’m thrown to the floor as I beg no more but they yell wanting my name,

It’s been given yet they don’t believe so they toss me about as I’m lame,

Each joint dislocated and muscles stretched to nearly leave my frame,

I’m limply thrown upon a bench and sodomized for an hour or more,

Pain has wrapped its filthy self around me as do they while I implore,

Be merciful I beg and I cry to the heavens for help while they explore,

The wire brush pushed into my rectum is to cleanse me some more,

We are trained for this, it’s sad to say, we are trained what not to say,

I’m thrown onto my cell room floor into urine and waste of yesterday,

Without movement the pain becomes bearable as I find escape in sleep,

And she comes to me into a world of mixed reality and kisses me sweet,

She wipes a tear from my eye and whispers words of love into my ear,

Telling me to be strong, that she loves me and that she is always here,

I see her looking back at me as I have imagined each day would be,

She suddenly fades as my jailer kicks the wire brush protruding from me,

As he departs I realize I must pull that sodomy brush from inside,

My arms hardly move but I must try as I grasp and pull I feel I have died,

I pass out quickly into a world not of sleep but simply dead darkness,

I see me on the floor and next to me an angelic form stands in witness,

Morning birds are singing to me as I become aware that I still live,

Bloods all around as I see her picture came free as I bled like a sieve,

I fear they will find her so I move as quickly as I can to hide her away,

Just as I find a place in the wall I am hit by a freezing water spray,

She is my life’s treasure that photograph, it’s my only piece of gold,

I’ve carried it near my heart for over two years it’s been in my hold,

In times of danger I kept it deep inside wrapped in plastic and more,

I so desperately wanted to put it back where it was once before,

Perhaps I shall survive, if I survive it is for one, it would be for her,

All my treasured gold is of her for only she would my life I offer,

Open your arms and pull me in I beg of you my angel of first light,

For over a year I’ve dreamed of you and in dreams held you tight,

I held you tight as you slept on my shoulder the night through,

Another dream has passed of a long day when saved by you,

So many years ago this occurred yet a day I appreciate now,

Was it an answer to a prayer to be discharged home somehow,

Happily you are my center of attention but still my only gold,

You’re the messenger of love today, I seek you within my hold,

The secrets of love I sought so long ago have been learned,

It is no secret in reality but that each day our love is returned,

Although the moments seemed so dark through you I found day,

Through dimensions of loving you I found love’s unseen bridge way,

A place in the heavens when darkness comes you pull me through,

In the silence of hard moments in life I’ve found comfort loving you.

The only end, by Pat